• Thinking about missing out on your loved ones’ milestones keeps you up at night. 
• You worry about the future, your loved ones, your health. At times you worry about dying. You may even worry about worrying.
• You don’t recognize yourself in the mirror and your body aches in unfamiliar ways. 
• You feel tired, yet you push through day after day to prove to your family, your boss, yourself that nothing has changed.
• You often ask yourself, “why me?”
• You have been told to “relax”, “stay positive”, or “find a new normal” but none of that makes really makes sense to you.

Life with cancer is tough. And it’s confusing.

A cancer diagnosis comes with new responsibilities, to yourself, your loved ones, your health, etc. You are expected to make difficult decisions for which you were not prepared, from the moment you get diagnosed and throughout the illness trajectory.  You are asked to commit to treatments and frequent medical appointments. Yet, life in between doctors’ appointments is overwhelming.

You go home with instructions to manage treatments side effects but no one gives you a handbook on how to cope with the complex emotions that unfold after a cancer diagnosis. 





1.     Cancer doesn’t come with a manual. There is no one way to respond to cancer and there’s definitely no “perfect” way to cope with cancer. With time, you’ll what works best for YOU. You’ll figure out which foods you can tolerate during chemo, the people you can rely on for grocery delivery or emotional support, what you need from others, etc. 



2.     It’s okay to feel sad, anxious, hopeful, guilty, angry, numb, confused, and all the emotions in between! You are a human being going through a very challenging time. You are not expected to “think positive” at all times. It's okay to feel all the feels. If you don't quite know how you're feeling, it's okay too.



3.     It’s okay to ask for help. Reach out to your spouse, your best friend, your medical team, an online cancer support community, your church, etc. Ask for a ride, a hug, help with child care, information about financial resources, and everything else you may want or need.



4.     Make some time to rest and take care of yourself. Like many, you may be used to taking care of others and always being on the go. Going through cancer is physically and emotionally demanding. You’ll need to rest. That may look like taking naps, not picking up the phone every single time, ordering take out more often than you're used to, or asking friends to help with meals.   



5.     Life with cancer can be a lot. While experiencing uncomfortable emotions is expected, depression and anxiety are not just another “normal” side effects of cancer and they shouldn’t be dismissed or ignored. Depression is depression. And there are  available treatments to help you better cope with disruptive mood symptoms if you're having a hard time coping.



6.     Therapy can help.  Treatment offers a safe space to show up as yourself every week and share the complex and moving emotions that make up your experience; the fears, hopes, wants, complaints, and everything in between. Getting support for your mental health will allow you to be better equipped to cope with the ups and downs of your cancer diagnosis. You don’t have to do this alone! 



7.     Be kind to yourself. Before navigating away from this page, take a piece of paper and write down a little love note to yourself. Write it as if you were talking to your best friend as they were going through a difficult time. Read it aloud.





I am Dr. Aurelie Lucette, a clinical health psychologist who provides individual therapy in Miami and online throughout the state of Florida. I can help with issues related to anxiety, stress, sleep, and depression. I also specialize in therapy for adults living with cancer , chronic illness, chronic pain.